Choosing to start a relationship with the girl you’ve got your heart set on is a big decision, but also one that opens the door to many exciting possibilities. Because of the emotional investment involved with any serious relationship, it goes without saying that you’ll want to choose your girlfriend carefully. Luckily, with a little help from wikiHow, you’ll be able to find a winner in no time! See Step 1 below to get started.
Part One of Three: Seeking Out Positive TraitsEdit
Choose a girl you like to be around – above all.This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s something all too many forget! Though almost every relationship will have difficult patches, relationships should bring happiness to both partners (most of the time). Your girlfriend should be someone that you know can bring out positive emotions in you. If the girl you’re considering starting a relationship with makes you wish you were somewhere else or causes you to become tense or unhappy often, you’ll want to seriously reconsider. Ask yourself the following questions:
Can I be myself around this person, or do I have to put up a “nice” front?
Is this someone I naturally enjoy talking to?
Do we seem to enjoy the time we spend together?
Choose a girlfriend who demonstrates self-respect. We all know how the old saying goes:“You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.” Heed this advice – pick a girlfriend who loves herself and has a healthy self-image. Such girls are likely to be emotionally stable and have reasonable, realistic priorities that are compatible with a relationship.
How do you know if a girl loves herself? Usually, a person with a healthy amount of self-respect will have some (if not all) of the following qualities:
Proper hygiene habits
Confidence in her own abilities
A relaxed, genuine demeanor
An ability to find humor in herself without being overly self-deprecating
Prioritize emotional attraction, but don’t rule out physical attraction. If you don’t feel a real emotional connection to your girlfriend, it doesn’t really matter how pretty she is – your relationship is going to be a dull one. You’ll want to choose a girlfriend primarily based on an emotional attraction, rather than a physical one. Ask yourself: “Would I still want to be in a relationship with this girl if she got a rash on her face?” If so, you probably have an attraction that’s more than skin deep!
This being said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cherishing your S.O.’s beauty, so if you have an emotional connection with someone that you’re also physically attracted to, all the better! Physical attraction is certainly one ingredient in a healthy relationship – it’s just not the most important ingredient.
Choose a girl with a good sense of humor.Laughter is part of almost every healthy relationship! Sharing a laugh is one of the greatest ways to form a quick emotional bond with someone, so the more you and your girlfriend can make each other laugh, the better. Try to choose a girlfriend with whom you’re able to regularly enjoy open, non-forced laughs and a little good-natured teasing.
One thing to consider is that different types of people will enjoy different types of comedy. If, for instance, you enjoy raunchy humor, but the girl you have your eyes on is somewhat more innocent, you may be in store for some minor awkwardness. This isn’t to say that two people with different senses of humor can’t learn to appreciate each others’ – just that it’s something to be aware of.
Choose a girl who’s independent and self-assured when it comes to her own interests.Girls, like guys, should have their own interests and priorities besides their partner. Pick a girlfriend who shows that she’s set on living a rich, fulfilling life regardless of whether you start a relationship by working towards her own goals. A girl like this offers a rewarding dating experience – after all, it’s easy to be interested in people who are interesting.
Better still, someone with her own interests is likely to be able to teach you things you may not otherwise have learned.
Choose a girl who wants the same things from a relationship that you do. This is one of the most common (yet most preventable) recipes for relationship disasters. Before you begin dating (or right after you start), it’s a good idea to talk about what each partner wants from the relationship. Keep in mind that certain relationships which may otherwise work out can be hamstrung by differences in each partners’ priorities. Below are just a few of the things you’ll want to consider with your prospective girlfriend:
Exclusivity – will you two commit to each other, or is your relationship a casual one with the possibility for flings with other people?
Future goals – does either partner have plans that may interfere with the relationship (e.g., moving for school or work, going on a long sabbatical, etc.)?
Other commitments which may affect your dating – does either partner have beliefs or values that will put boundaries on the relationship (e.g., religious beliefs, household rules, etc.)?