Should you stop masturbating? Male masturbation may be an odd and/or taboo topic, but it is something that should be addressed. Even with sexual revolutions and major liberating social changes and view of sexuality, masturbation can still cause guilt, as well as health and relationship problems.
This article is meant to present justifications and ideas for stopping or controlling male masturbation
This article is also not meant to be “sexist” or gender biased in any way. Plenty can be said about female masturbation, but we will be focusing on male masturbation for a specific reason. The reason being is that masturbation affects a man’s body and psychology differently than masturbation affects a woman. Without much further ado, lets delve into the various reasons one should consider stopping or limiting their masturbation:
- Possible Shortage of Lifespan
- Drainage of Energy
- Reduced Confidence / Inability to Approach Women
- Individual Spiritual / Religious ReasonsReasons
Possible Shortage of Lifespan: Recent studies suggest that the simple act of producing and ejaculating sperm are highly correlated to a shorter lifespan. It doesn’t take much to connect the most obvious dots: women live longer than men and they produce no semen whatsoever. Clearly this is only correlation but this idea of sperm production linked to lifespan has shown up in studies comparing male nematodes. As mentioned in “The Four Hour Body” by Tim Ferriss, when comparing a Blue Butterflynematode that had spread its seed to one that hadn’t, researchers found a significant change in lifespan.
The research suggested that it was the simple act of generating sperm that was linked to reduced lifespan and not necessarily the physical act of sex. In the book “Taoist Secrets of Love” by Mantak Chia, other signs from the natural world are brought to ones attention. Some examples include:
The male butterfly often dies shortly after mating.
Most animals mate only once a year at most.
Many plants go into dormancy after bearing fruit.
Taoism has long been associated with longevity. There are many tales about Taoist “masters” or “sages” reaching ages well beyond that of the average person. Taoism is a philosophy with roots on natural observation that is literally thousands of years old, and there is a consensus among Taoists that preservation and proper cultivation of male sexual fluid is vital to lifespan.
Ancient Taoists viewed the male sexual fluid contained their “chi” or “life force energy” and that every time one eliminated their fluid, they also lost some of that vital energy.
This brings us to our next topic:
Drainage of Energy:
The feeling of being completely drained of energy after orgasm is not only common; it is often joked about and brought up in society and the media. The issue of “the man falling A Sink Drainingasleep right after sex” is one women deal with constantly, and many of them are not happy about it. In fact, many men use masturbation as a “shortcut” to falling asleep at night because of the draining effect it has.
Whether or not you believe that the “sustaining energy of life” is lost during orgasm, one cannot deny that the experience taxes the system. I knew a woman who once compared orgasm to “a minor stroke”, and being a woman she had obviously never experienced the effect it has on a man’s body.
Reduced Confidence / Inability to Approach Women:
In terms of both health and confidence, there are many reports of famous boxers and athletes who remain celibate before participating in a match or game. One can only speculate if there is any proof that it helps their performance, but it may be worth noting. If nothing else, one could argue that their body hasn’t been taxed and they may be more “fresh” and prepared to compete. Perhaps a better example of the effects of masturbation on confidence can be found in the following:
Among the community of men’s dating coaches and “pick up artists” there is an increasing emphasis being placed on reduced, controlled, or cessation of masturbation. The idea is pretty simple.
Men who are masturbating frequently are less likely to actually go approach a woman that they find attractive. If you think about it, every time you ejaculate semen you are telling your body that you just procreated. If you do this often, you are less motivated to actually go do what it takes to actually reproduce – meet the opposite sex.
Mark Manson provides some advice in his book “Models: Attracting Women Through Honesty”. He explains how in his teaching, getting men to stop masturbating is one of the most effective aspects of his coaching. Among other tips, he recommends setting aside one day every week or every other week where you are allowed to masturbate – otherwise avoid it at all costs every other day of the week.
Whether or not there is any “hard science” behind this is debatable. A certainty is that this is an idea that is catching on within the community of men’s dating coaches. If you are a man who masturbates frequently, you might be able to verify this experience from your own life experience.
Another harmful side effect of an out of control masturbation habit is that one can easily become desensitized to real life women and actual sex with a partner. Many men find that masturbating too frequently makes it more difficult to achieve or maintain an erection, as well as having various negative impacts on the actual act of sex with a partner.
Compounding this problem is the rise of pornography addiction. The website “Your Brain On Porn” explains the drastic issues being cause with the overload of highly stimulating pornography available to us in modern society. It is strongly recommended that you read this report in full as it is too important to summarize here and leave anything out. It can easily be argued that all men NEED to read that article and understand exactly what pornography is doing to their brain.
Spirituality / Religion*:
*Many men who are looking to stop masturbating already have a religious reason for doing so. This section is not in place to convince or convert anyone to any belief structure or religion. For those that do have spiritual or religious beliefs, the following may hit home.*
In this recent poll by Gallop, more American’s consider themselves “Pro-Life” than “Pro-Choice” for the first time in years. When it comes to preserving the sanctity of life and/or a potential future life, consider the following: a healthy sperm count contains between 300 – 500 MILLION sperm cells. Considering the fact that the U.S. population is just over 300 million people, one ejaculation holds the potential to repopulate the entire country. It is not unreasonable to think that the average man over the course of his life could potentially spill enough sperm on the bed sheet to account for every human that has ever lived.
Guilt is also a feeling that often follows an ejaculation that comes as a result of masturbation. Although it could be argued that this guilt is due to religious shame, there are many men who are not religious that still feel remorseful or depressed after pleasing themselves. Without pushing any moral view on anybody, it could also be easily argued that the simplest way to avoid this guilt would be to not do the act in the first place.
The above reasons should hopefully provide a compelling argument as to why one should at least consider putting an end to their masturbation habit. If nothing else, the simple choice to limit, or control a masturbation habit can be great for one’s sense of self-control and self-confidence. Knowledge that one is in control of your decisions and actions is important for anyone to have.
So, what can you do about it? Becoming educated about the issue is the first step. Once you become aware of the “why” it becomes easier to accept the “how”. Building the willpower is the most important aspect of breaking a habit. This is easier said than done.
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Another option could be to use meditation to help you better control your thoughts and emotions. Meditation has multiple health benefits and is linked to improved self-esteem and mindset. Self-control and the ability to “let thoughts pass” are absolutely vital skills to have when it comes to breaking this habit, especially considering the root of the arousal comes from thought. Some people also find hypnosis very effective.