Being in a relationship is wonderful. You’ve found someone that can more than tolerate you, they actually love you flaws and all. Falling in love for some is easy, but maintaining a happy, healthy relationship is the hard part. Anytime you are around someone for a significant amount of time, you are bound to annoy each other at some point or other. Maybe it’s something you say or just a habit you don’t realize you have, but sometimes you just want to strangle the one you love.
There’s no way of avoiding innocent conflict in a relationship. So how do you tackle these bumps on your road to forever? It’s not easy, but one thing you should never do is hold grudges and play the blame game.
Grudges are relationship killers. How are you supposed to focus on your relationship’s future if you can’t let go of the past? The answer is you can’t. Tons of people find themselves in unhappy relationships, because they are too prideful to admit they are wrong. Don’t let your successful relationship slip away and put an end to grudges.
Here are a couple alternative, positive ways to mend conflict between you and your loved one:
Argue a little
Some couples fear arguing like it’s the plague. While arguing with your significant isn’t ideal, it can be healthy. It’s worse to bottle up all your feelings and develop resentment towards each other. Just don’t argue over every little thing, because then you’re just incompatible at that point. But if you are suddenly unhappy in your relationship but willing to work at it, bring up what bothers you without fear. If you are scared of your significant other, that’s another sign to get out of that relationship. You should feel comfortable enough to speak up and argue with good intention. Remember communication is key, so argue away as long as it is productive and irregular.
After you are finally done arguing, it’s time for both parties to compromise. You need to take a step back from your separate opinions and listen to one and other to make something positive out of this disagreement. You need to throw away what both sides already think and come up with a solution together. Compromise isn’t about giving in, it is about agreeing on something new and moving on without the lingering past.
Lastly, you have got to plan for the future. At this point, you are tired of arguing and finally came together on a compromise, but that’s not the end. You probably never want to argue over this same subject again, but only time will tell. Set some goals on how to avoid this issue as well as some ways to address it if it ever creeps into your relationship again.