First dates can be quite nerve-racking. Let’s face it, if you weren’t that bothered about the girl in question, then you probably wouldn’t have asked her out. The fact is that you really like her, you really want to be on this date with her, you really want it to turn into more than just a first date, and you are extremely eager to present yourself in the best possible light.
Hopefully, with this latter objective achieved, that first date will become a second. With this in mind, the following list of first date tips has been put together to help you get off to the very best possible start, and win your way into her affections with a memorable display of chutzpah and poise.
How to get her to agree on more dates with you
What you do on your first date with her will determine if you’ll be able to secure a second. Here’s what you can do to up the odds of her agreeing to date number two.
1 Try a new approach. Instead of doing the tried and tested on this first date, why not have something a little bit new and interesting up your sleeve? Instead of taking the restaurant or bar approach to dating, try something a little off the wall, like taking her for a romantic stroll down a riverside, off to the beach for a picnic, or to a scenic beauty spot where you can watch the sunset together.
If you feel such a creative approach might be a little too much for this particular lady on the first date, and would prefer to keep something like that up your sleeve for later, then there are still ways you can spice things up during the usual kind of date.
How about a musician hired to perform exclusively for you both while you dine or a romantic gift brought in at a key point by the waiting staff? Anything to make this date stand out from the rest and provide a truly memorable moment in time will definitely get her excited for your next date.
2 The right time and place. If you’re going to plump for the restaurant option, then make sure you pick somewhere with the right kind of ambience. This means picking a spot where you’ve tried it at different days of the week and different times of the day, so you can know which would be most suitable.
So what are you looking for? Well, you need to have enough people present to create a pleasant buzz of conversation, but not so much that you’ll end up having to scream just to make yourself heard. Make sure there are no unwanted distractions such as TVs or jukeboxes. Also, check that there are some nice little tables tucked away in shaded corners or premium window seats, with plenty of room around them, so you don’t feel like battery hens, from which you can begin your campaign in romantic earnest.
3 Switch off. No, I don’t mean switch off your attention. Quite the opposite, in fact. This date is all about her, or that is at least the way she should feel, and nothing is more likely to turn the date sour than you leaping up to answer your phone every couple of minutes. Answer it at the table, and she’ll think you’re rude. Go outside to answer it, and she’ll think you have someone else on the side that you’re trying to keep quiet.
It’s best just to turn it off, or at least leave on vibrate, and check for messages or calls at times when she isn’t present, such as when she pops into the lady’s room.
4 Dress to impress. Do I really need to even say this? Well, YES, unfortunately. There are those guys out there who have this kind of “She’ll have to take me as I am” attitude, and will turn up dressed like they just stepped out of a gym rather than a salon. Other guys are just really unaware of how they look, and don’t care much about their appearance.
However, on a first date, appearance is absolutely key, and if you want to make it to a second date, then you’d better turn up looking so sharp that you’d make James Bond hang his head in shame!
5 Say it WITHOUT words. We are all aware of the importance of body language, and nowhere is it more important than in a first date scenario, where it will determine much of how you come across, especially in the initial moments of the meeting.
The trick is to keep composed. Make your movements slow and languid. Keep eye contact fairly constant, but do look away occasionally to avoid staring. Be open and relaxed, and incline slightly towards her with your posture. Jerking and buzzing around like a wasp is an unimpressive look for a man, and focusing your body language in any direction but hers is also likely to make you look uninterested.
6 Say it WITH words… But not too many. If you’re trying to make a good impression, then getting the conversation right is absolutely key. Have an opinion and make it known – there’s a certain kind of strength in conviction that women find attractive – just try not to talk too much. Talkativeness is seen, rightly or wrongly, as a feminine trait. Stony silence is likewise just as much of a dead end.
To have a successful conversation, show that you are interested in her and what she has to say by asking her questions and, most importantly of all, listening to her. She will be flattered by the attention you’re paying her, and she’ll completely open herself up to you. Definite fuel for the flower of romance and an almost certain second date. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]
7 Are you positive? If not, then do please try to be. Women want a man who has strong masculine traits that they can immediately identify. Being critical, self-deprecating, or displaying any other negative traits is a definite turn off and unlikely to solicit anything more than a swift dismissal. Keep a smile on your face, and make sure that your conversation is always positive and polite.
8 Relax. Easier said than done, I suppose, but it is a very important part of a first date, and one that links into many of the previous points above. For instance, asking questions rather than talking all the time is a definite helper when it comes to relaxing, as it takes the onus and pressure off you for a while. It also gives you a chance to think about what you will say or do next.
Having previously visited the date location will also put you at ease, since you know exactly where it is, how to get there, what it’s like inside, etc. Not being interrupted by a blaring jukebox or a full volume ringtone is an obvious help. If you are a naturally nervous person, there is plenty of available help on the internet suggesting breathing methods and other techniques with which you can control your unwanted nerves. Just make sure you tried and tested them in advance of the big night!
A relaxed man is a confident man, and confidence is a huge part of managing your situation just well enough to turn a first date into a second.