There’s something magical about being able to call the man you love your husband. It’s unlike anything else, like a partnership and belonging, someone who has your back, all the while building you up. It’s pretty darn special.
Which is why it’s so important that you know your husband. Sometimes even more than he knows himself (as he should do for you too). Because that’s part of the magic of marriage – that there is someone in this world who knows you and loves you enough to put you ahead of themselves.
The ‘getting to know you’ phase never ends. We are always changing and evolving, and talking to each other and communicating. And while these are listed as what every wife should know about her husband, it goes equally the other way too and these things are also what every husband should know about his wife.
1 – How To Make Him Smile
There are going to be times when everyone is stressed, upset or just plain tired and ‘over it’. You know the times when you’re cranky, he’s cranky and you just can’t seem to get out of that funk.
Knowing how to make him smile is the perfect icebreaker for this. Sometimes all it takes is a change in direction, like laughing instead of being cranky, to pull everyone back to neutral.
Plus, it’s a nice feeling to be able to make your husband smile whenever you want.
2 – What He Needs To ‘Recharge His Batteries’
We all know introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries, but even if your husband is an extrovert, there will still be things he needs to do to get back to his ‘zen’ place.
Whether it’s a day out fishing with the boys or a day at home reading his favourite book, work out what it is he needs and be sure to let him have that time when he needs it. (It’s okay, the same goes for you too!!).
3 – What Is Important To Him
While it may seem silly to you that he insists on dressing up for a Star Wars marathon every May 4th, if it’s important to him be sure to encourage him, or at the very least, don’t make him feel bad about it.
You don’t have to agree on everything, but understanding what is important to each other gives you boundaries on what you should and shouldn’t push for. It goes both ways, so be sure he knows what is important to you too.
4 – How He Reacts To Stress
We all react to stress differently, but the way your husband reacts to stress may be different to the way you react, or even how you expect him to react. The issue with this is that you can quickly become frustrated if he is stressed and not acting the way you think he should. See the problem?
Knowing how he reacts to stress means you can identify it sooner, be less frustrated and can support him rather than just getting cranky because he has bunkered down playing video games all day (apparently Ghost Recon is good for stress…).
5 – What Motivates Him
Do you know what it is that motivates your husband? What drives him to achieve his goals? Does the thought of going away camping for a week in the bush make him excited? Or a day at the beach? Or a day on his own to do whatever he wants?
Knowing what motivates each other can mean that you can plan these events for your husband (and yourself) as little ‘rewards’ along the way. It’s important to include individual motivations in your relationship – both his and yours.
6 – What His Dreams Are
Where does your husband hope to be in a year, in five years, in a decade? What does he want to be doing with his career? With his life? As a family and with you?
One of the issues that causes so much upset in relationships is when a husband and wife have very, very different dreams for their lives. They go through their relationship without talking to each other about where they want to be in years to come, or they just agree and go along with one or the others to keep them happy, and then all of a sudden it’s like they are heading down two very different paths.
Find out what your husband’s dreams are – how are they similar to yours and how do they differ? And how can you make them both work together and help each other achieve your dreams?
7 – The Ways In Which He Loves You
What is it that your husband loves and adores about you? Knowing this is such a nice feeling, and can help you with any self-consciousness or insecurities you may have. It can even make you feel more confident.
Knowing that your husband loves your independence and strength as a woman, makes you feel even more independent and strong. Knowing that he loves how stubborn you are, makes you feel less self-conscious about it. And knowing that he loves your womanly curves, makes you feel less like you need to look like the photoshopped images in magazines.
8 – What His Love Language Is
So many relationships have been saved by The Five Love Languages. In a nutshell, it identifies 5 different languages of love that we speak, and helps you work out which ones are most important to you (and your husband). This way, knowing what is most important to each other, you can see each others actions and reactions in a new light.
For example, if your husbands love language is ‘acts of service’ and he spends time every week washing your car and refuelling it for you, this could be a way that he is showing his love for you. But if your love language is ‘quality time’ then all you see is that he is spending time away from you doing meaningless things like washing a car.
See where the problem is?
Knowing his love language will help you speak to it, and understand when he is speaking it to you.
9 – How To Make Him Feel Loved
As a follow on from above, it’s so important for you to know how to make your husband feel loved. Not in the way you think should make him feel loved, but how you know works. Take time getting to find out. He might not be forthcoming about it, he might not even realise himself, so pay attention to when he shows the most appreciation and above all else, talk.
Nothing is more important than talking to one another.