10 Refreshing Ways to Revive Your Romantic Relationship

Even in the best relationships things can get “rusty”. You might be bored, may start to take each other for granted, may be fighting (or not communicating at all). But not to worry—this isn’t always an indication of unhappily ever after!

Once you know that things have gotten a bit stale, you can put in the “work” (it’s fun, I promise!) to revive the love that brought you together in the first place.


  • Do Daily “Good Feeling” Deposits

You know those things you say or do that make you feel good, like complimenting a stranger on their haircut or buying a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line? You’re doing good for someone else, but it makes you feel good, too. Try those out on your partner every day! Surprise them with their favorite latte or compliment their appearance before they leave for work. They feel good and you feel good—it’s a win-win.

  • Share a Shared Vision Date Night

Date nights are important—most of us know that—but what if you planned one specifically to share (or revisit) your individual visions for your relationship and your shared vision together? Share how you envision your relationship growing, evolving, expanding—and how you hope to continue to grow together.

  • Schedule Some Space

Just as important as scheduling time to spend together is scheduling time to spend apart. Not only will this allow you to reflect and vision and do fun activities you only want to do solo; it’ll also give you the opportunity to miss your partner and reflect on what you love so much about being with them (that you might otherwise take for granted).

  • Write Love Letters
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Don’t you just love getting snail mail? Your partner likely does, too! Get old-fashioned and start writing love letters to the love of your life. You can write them one on the bathroom mirror every day or write one once a week that you actually pop in the mail (even if you live together!).

  • Create a Partner-Focused Gratitude Practice

Most of us are aware of the value of gratitude. It makes us happier, more energetic, and more forgiving, amongst many other things. So what if you created a practice solely around the gratitude you feel for your partner? What do you appreciate, admire, love and cherish about them? Just thinking about this every day will be valuable, but feel free to share at least one thing with them, too!

  • Plan a Re-Commitment Trip, Ceremony, or Party

This can be as big or as small as you’d like for it to be! The point is that you both focus on the commitment you made to one another—whether it be days, months, or years before now—and re-commit to each other, knowing what you know now about yourself, about your partner, and about your relationship to one another. Share your thoughts on this with each other, and celebrate this re-commitment in whatever way feels right to the both of you!

  • Have Sex

Sure, you’ve probably heard this tip a time or two—but that’s because it’s important! And just because you’re hearing it doesn’t mean you’re doing it. There’s no “right” or “wrong” amount of sex for each individual couple, but there’s no avoiding the fact that having it—any of it!—will revive any relationship! So just do it. Tonight. You (and your partner) will thank me later.

  • Listen Actively
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Have conversations with and ask questions of your partner that spark true, deep discussion. Your question can be as simple as “How was your day?”, but set the intention that you will only listen—don’t jump in with comments, questions, advice. Shut down all distractions—including those that you often provide—and plan to truly listen to what they have to say.

  • Plan a “Team” Activity

Make weekly plans to do something together—just the two of you. Date nights are great, but it doesn’t need to be extravagant. It might be as simple as cooking tonight’s meal together. Whatever you choose to do, tackle it as a team—leaning on and supporting one another through it, much as you need to do in your relationship.

  • Ask Them What They Want

I could give you 10 more tips for refreshing and reviving your relationship, but there will always be one person who knows even better than me what will revitalize it best—the one you’re with! Ask your partner what they want. What do they want to do? Experience? Feel? And ask yourself those same questions, too! Then go do those things. Today!

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