HAVE you ever wondered if the way you act makes women cringe? Have you ever worried that your behaviour might be making them run in the other direction?
Just as women are attracted to certain archetypal men, there are other types of men that women go out of their way to avoid.
And this is especially true during the early stages of a relationship, when a woman is trying to gauge a man’s personality.
Below are eight types of guys that women consistently stay away from. I have compiled this list from conversations I’ve had with numerous women regarding the behaviours they dislike in men.
But don’t worry if you recognise some of the following traits in yourself – most of them aren’t deal-breakers. The idea here is not to completely change your personality, but rather to keep certain female-unfriendly behaviours in check. Read on to find out what women dislike, so you’ll be able to make a better impression next time around.
8. THE MISOGYNIST
This guy makes no secret of his bitterness toward women. On a date, he can’t help but exude negativity toward his companion and the entire female gender by making rude and insulting comments.
Why He’s So Unappealing: This is the only type of behaviour on this list that is, in fact, a total deal-breaker. And it’s not surprising. What woman do you know who would like to be in a relationship with a man like this?
What to Do If You’re That Guy: You need to take a good look at why you feel this way about women. Misogyny tends to say more about the man in question than about women in general. Regardless of the root cause, you need to address your misogyny and change your attitude if you want to spend time with women who don’t hate themselves.
7. THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS GUY
This guy is very judgmental. He probably doesn’t drink or smoke, and he doesn’t hesitate to tell others to follow suit. From the very first date, he’ll preach to a woman, telling her she shouldn’t drink wine or get dessert.
Why He’s So Unappealing: No one wants to be judged, especially on a date. She’ll just find it annoying and rude.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: You can preach a little once you’re actually in a relationship. But until that point, her drinking, smoking and dessert-eating habits are none of your business.
6. THE ARGUER
This type of guy turns every conversation into an argument. When he takes a woman out, he makes her feel like she’s in debate class rather than on a date. And in doing so, he makes her feel defensive and selfconscious.
Why He’s So Unappealing: A date should be a pleasant experience, but if she’s on the defensive the whole time, she will not be enjoying herself. Remember this: Constant arguing and debating is a stress – and you certainly don’t want her to associate you with a stressful experience.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: Most importantly, relax. If you are this type of guy, you probably revert to debating because you are nervous or unsure of what to say. So before the date, brainstorm conversation topics and questions you can ask her. That way, you won’t be as likely to revert to arguing during lulls in the conversation.
5. THE CHEAP GUY
He invites a woman to dinner and then subtly suggests they go Dutch. He never splurges to buy her flowers and he always opts for the cheapest wine. He makes her feel like they’re on a tight budget from the very first date.
Why He’s So Unappealing: Your first few dates should always be carefree; the words “saving” and “budget” shouldn’t come up. If she spends the first date picturing a lifetime of penny-pinching with you, you’re out of luck.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: Loosen up the purse strings a little when you’re courting a woman. You don’t need to spend a fortune to make a good impression, but you do need to make her feel like she’s special. Flowers are a nice touch once in a while.
4. THE BOORISH GUY
The Boorish Guy doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s checking out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he even goes as far as to brag about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect for women.
Why He’s So Unappealing: Not only is this type of behaviour infuriating, it can also be bad for a woman’s self-esteem. If you act like this when you’re first getting to know a woman, you won’t stand a chance.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: If you can’t curb this kind of behaviour permanently, then you at least have to keep it in check when making a first impression. Keep your flirting and wandering eyes at bay – and maybe eventually it’ll become a habit. Because, truthfully, if you introduce this kind of behaviour into a relationship at any point, she won’t be pleased.
3. THE ARROGANT GUY
He has a huge ego and he’s condescending. He’s also rude – not necessarily to her, but to anyone he perceives as beneath him. And that’s just as bad as being rude directly to her.
Why He’s So Unappealing: A woman often looks at how a man treats other people to assess his personality. So, even though you might be nice to her on a date, she’ll be paying attention to how you act with other people too.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: No woman wants to be talked down to, so I shouldn’t have to tell you to shed the ego when you’re dealing with her directly. But in order to really impress her, you need to treat everyone around you with a certain amount of respect – because she’ll be watching.
2. THE PREDICTABLE GUY
Women don’t like the Predictable Guy because they know exactly how he’ll react to everything. He follows formulas and never wants to do anything differently. For example, he’d never surprise a woman by spontaneously taking her out for the night.
Why He’s So Unappealing: Women look for a certain amount of unpredictability in a man – they want a free spirit. This is why some women seem to be drawn to the notorious “bad boy.” It’s not that they’re drawn to his badness, exactly, but rather to his unpredictability.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: You don’t have to be “bad” or a completely free spirit to win her over. But try to mix things up – particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Call her and tell her you want to go to the country for the day, or for an impromptu meal. After she gets to know you, she won’t mind as much if you slip back into your routine a bit. But don’t forget to continue to surprise her once in a while – doing so will keep the relationship fresh.
1. THE NEEDY GUY
He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with her right away. The Needy Guy also doubts himself and needs constant reassurance about his relationship, work and friendships.
Why He’s So Unappealing: Confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a man – insecurity and dependence are not. Most women look for a strong partner they can lean on. So if you’re always leaning on her – especially in the early stages of a relationship – she might doubt your ability to fulfil that role. Starting a new relationship can make anyone feel nervous – don’t burden her with your insecurities, too.
What to Do If You’re That Guy: Timing is everything, so you just need to keep your feelings in check at the beginning of the relationship. Try to hold off on sharing all your feelings or divulging your insecurities. Once you’re far enough along in the relationship, you can share as much as you want. By that point, she’ll appreciate knowing what’s on your mind.